Defending the Raven

Bisexual. Married. Man. Open. Read On.

Adventures in Boys’ Night Out

Last Wednesday was my birthday. Originally, SR was supposed to have a work thing so our good friend R asked her if it was ok for him to take me out for a Boys’ Night. It’s been a while since we’ve been out together to “gay it up” for a night. I say that very loosely because really it’s a fun opportunity to explore that other side of me very openly without having to worry about what SR might be thinking. She trusts me and we have gotten to the point where we know what the rules are.

I met R at his office after work. There was a place near him that he walks past every day that he’s wanted to check out. On Wednesdays they have a new “After Work” party. So we get there around 6:30. R had surprised me by saying he was bringing someone from his work. He is much more open about things. However, he also works in a creative industry that could really give a shit about the fact that he is bi, married and in an open relationship.

We get to the bar and we are pretty much the only ones there. Not much of a surprise on a Wednesday night. Pretty soon people start coming in, but then we realize that they come in, go to a back room and then come out in nothing but briefs. Ok, so the entertainment is here. R chats up one of the bartenders that he thinks is cute. He also ends up chatting up the promoter, which is always a good idea. The sad thing is that the DJ is actually playing good music. R had a very big personality and is pretty forward. He kinda brings out the best (and sometimes worst) in me. I’m very likely to get myself into trouble when he’s around. Sometimes that trouble is good.

We then start to talk to this one dancer, Anthony. He is very cute. He’s the Italian cutie next door. Has all the classic All-American Boy looks, but with the New York edge. A slight accent and he’s wearing work boots. We’re chatting, but I’m kinda noticing him eye me. But by this point we’d realized that the point of the dancers were to get us to pay for a dance in the back room. As R pointed out, he’s never had to pay for sex and he’s not gonna start by paying for a cheap thrill. If he wanted to get his cock in any of those boys asses he could (told you he has a very bi personality). Now I’ve never paid for sex or a stripper either so I couldn’t help but agree with him. So we decided to move on to a new place. However, Anthony said to me as I left “Come back later and I’ll give you a free dance for your birthday.” Well, I mean if he was gonna give it to me for free — we might be back later.

The next place we went to was much more crowded. But it is probably the most popular gay cliché club in New York City. But if you’re gonna got full on Boys’ Night you might as well go for it. R and I were hanging out. By this time it was 8:30 or so.

Now I have to go back and tell you about my morning. SR had woken me up earlier being very playful. She teased me immensely. She stroked my cock and went down on me (which is still not a common enough activity for me, but she’s gotten much better). Of course, she was being her typical before work tease. She likes to do that and leave me thinking about it all day. But it was my birthday I pushed for more. I got her to straddle me and slide my cock into her. She was very wet so I knew that she was just as turned on as me. She was protesting because she clearly wanted more later. But she got really worked up. But then something clicked in her and she started talking dirty. She started talking about me going out for Boys’ Night Out. She asked me what I would be thinking about flirting with all those boys. I didn’t quite know what to answer, and so I said thinking about her at home waiting for me. And then she said, “You won’t be thinking about coming home and having me fuck you? That’s what you want isn’t it?” Whoa, damnit. Nice. Yes, of course that’s what I want. (side note: to catch you all up. I had bought a strap-on for SR to use on me. Our first time out with it was not that positive of an experience because it was such a new thing for her and us both. She got very distressed because she “wanted to do it for me” but it was the first time so we were both fumbling around with it.) Ok, so now I have an offer by wife to fuck me when I get home. That’s awesome. But I also know in the back of my head that I’m gonna probably be out late, but we’ll see.

Now back to cliche gay bar. I overpaid for some drinks and we were chatting and observing the wild life. Lots and lots of very drunk people. Obviously this is where everyone had been since after work. There was one guy who came up to me. He was very drunk and very forward. Introduced himself as “Wang” and then just gave me what he probably thought were come hither eyes. So was I supposed to say “Hi, wanna take me home?” So I just kinda like. Hiiiiiii. And left him hanging. He walked away. So in only the way R can get pulled into something when a cute guy and a hot TV are involved he got drafted for the bar game that was to commence “within minutes.” 30 minutes later and it got started. I have to admit I was getting a little annoyed because I would have either moved on to another place I had found as an option, gone back and seen if Anthony was joking, or gone home to SR and see if she would make good on fucking me.

But I’m a good friend. Plus it ended up being funny and I was doing some great eye fucking with a guy who was with a group of friends. I was sitting alone and so really it was his deal to come to me. Plus I enjoy playing the “you want it, you come to me part.” I’m really otherwise horrible with this stuff in a standard bar setting where I have to make the first moves. But I’m in a gay bar. I don’t HAVE to make the first moves.

R gets done, ends up winning $50 so we have more drinking to do. He asks if I want to go back to the first bar. Well, sure of course! We get back and it’s much more full. Though it’s gone full on perverted. A mixed group of guys from older, overweight gross guys to groups of cute guys. There are about 20 “dancers” now. R and I get a drink from cute bartender who is now stripped down to a jock strap and is incredibly hung. I mean wow. Incredible.

Guys start coming up to us and chatting. Here’s the standard pitch. “Hi, I’m X. How are you tonight?” “Hi, I’m R. Doin’ good.” “So you guys having fun?” “Sure are.” “Well, if you want some more fun we can go in back.” I can appreciate the direct sell, but I mean C’MON! It was kinda funny and highly amusing. Plus the view was just as nice with them dancing. I will say that there was one moment that kinda turned me off even more. This one guy was incredibly cute and was actually pretty personable. He initiated an actual conversation. Of course, he was flirty and touchy. But he kept running his hands over my love handles and stomach and squeezing them. Now, really I don’t need you to remind me that I’m not in as good of shape as you, but trying to give me the impression that you’re into guys who are a little bigger is not gonna win me over. For all I know maybe he did like me because I’m more in the “bear” stereotype, but I try to counter that in a gay setting as much as I can.

So one of the gimmicks the bar had was to give you raffle tickets every time you bought a drink. Then about every hour they’d pick a winner who’d get a free dance. Well, guess who won? Me! Hahahaha. So guess I don’t have to pay for it. The promoter came up to me and was like… ok now pick a ticket for the guy out of this cup. And I’m like, I don’t get to choose. R totally backed me up. So the promoter was like sure. Who do you want?

Pause for Reading Comprehension test:
Based on what you have read so far, who did I choose?
A. Love handle squeezer
B. African-American “banger type”
C. Anthony

If you said C. Congrats you win today’s Obvious Blog Reader of the Day.

So the promoter calls Anthony over and he takes me by the hand into the back room. The room had booth seats along 2 of the 3 walls. Two other guys were getting dances. Both of them were very overweight guys over 50. Anthony pushes me into a corner seat and starts to give me a lap dance. Now I’ve never been to a straight strip club, but I know that in general touching is not allowed. Here — touching was kind of a requirement. Not that I minded. I mean I’d totally rationalize that I hadn’t paid for this so what the hell. Plus I had chatted with this guy in an otherwise social setting for half an hour before. I knew where he grew up and where he lived (oh yeah, best part – in an apartment he owns 20 blocks from me). I knew he had quick a high pressure job 2 months ago and this was how he was getting by.

At the same time it was really weird. One of the reasons I have never been to a strip club is because I have problems objectifying someone so directly. Sure I can do it from afar, but so one on one like that…. ehhh. Then I also internalize embarrassment for them. Now, I know there are plenty of people who strip who enjoy it. Or are doing it for a very good reason. I mean I know that they are taking advantage of a situation and so I’m fine with them getting theirs, but there still is a squirm factor for me.

So to have Anthony grinding me, kissing me, having me touch him, having me lick his nipples was an odd thing. Don’t get me wrong this guy was so incredibly beautiful that I was doing just fine. And when he pulled his briefs down to show me the great work out his done on his ass…. I was in it completely. It didn’t last very long (I mean I wasn’t paying for it). So we left. I said thank you and went back to R we danced. The DJ was pretty great, which is a shame because we were the only ones dancing. Yes, not even the “dancers” were dancing.

By this point it was approaching 11:30. I knew SR was heading to bed and I had missed out on any chance of that aspect of things. I went to the bathroom and ran into Anthony. We chatted some. He said he was leaving and going home. I told him it was nice to meet him and thanks for making my birthday fun. He laughed. All in all the guy was really nice. Sure maybe that was his front for what he was doing, but it won me over (as did his perfectly trim and smooth body).

R and I decided it was time to go home. As I was walking out I noticed Anthony sitting at a table in jeans and a sweat shirt. I said good night again. We chatted a little again. I told him I was taking a cab home if he wanted to share. He said that a friend was finishing up a dance and they were gonna eat and the other guy was gonna drive him home and stay over. I said that’s cool. He then asked me for my phone number. He put it into his phone, called me, and said give me a call sometime. And with that I left.

It was a totally weird and trippy night. I have to admit it was not nearly what I was expecting for my night. I had thought it was gonna be some fun dancing and flirting. Maybe find some guy to connect with and who knows. But this night was just out there. It was great fun, and certainly a birthday I won’t forget.


April 15, 2008 - Posted by | Uncategorized

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