Defending the Raven

Bisexual. Married. Man. Open. Read On.

Complacent?

So in my Twitter adventures I have had a number of new people start following my conversations. Think that might be because of the popularity of a hot couple that I’ve been exchanging conversations with.

That being said I ran across the blog of KittyM one of the new people following me and this post was the most recent one. I felt compelled to share it. I hope she doesn’t mind. Check out her blog

Romantic love reaches out in little ways, showing attention and admiration. Romantic love remembers what pleases a woman, what excites her, and what surprises her. Its actions whisper: you are the most special person in my life.

Both of them are ready to hit the sheets, but only one of them wants to sleep. He’s ready, but she’s not willing. Or she’s frisky but he’s listless.

Desire discrepancy can wound and even cripple a relationship. What’s that you ask? When one spouse is longing for more sexual closeness and the other is too tired, too worried about laundry, bills, or other chores and think that everything else is more important, that it’s really no big deal, that there is always tomorow. But tomorow never comes and resentment builds.

It really is big deal. It’s about being loved, feeling close, feeling attractive. The low-desire spouse doesn’t get it.

The person with the lower sex drive needs to take the partner’s drive into consideration instead of thinking ‘Get over it,’ or, ‘Take a cold shower.’ What they’re saying is, ‘I don’t care about your drive, but I expect you to be monogamous.’ That’s unfair, and I think it’s one of the reasons for rampant infidelity, which isn’t just about sex – it’s about feeling wanted and appreciated.

When couples experience desire discrepancy they stop spending time together, don’t sit next to each other on the couch when they’re watching TV, don’t hold hands, touching has stopped, the relationship will become icy and the marriage is at risk for infidelity and divorce.

Lower-desire partners who actively start paying more attention to the sexual side of their relationships are frequently surprised at the positive changes in their partners’ attitude toward them, the family and the relationship.

When couples stop flirting, laughing at each other’s jokes, doing all those romantic things that keep the fire alive that’s when desire is lost. It’s not just about intercourse, it’s about telling your spouse he or she looks really great today, it’s about letting the one you love know you love them and showing it so they feel it.

Have you truly tried to love your partner today? Have you showed them the love they need in the way they need it?

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November 28, 2007 - Posted by | Link to read

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