Defending the Raven

Bisexual. Married. Man. Open. Read On.

The Problem of Women

My issues with women has been well documented on this blog before (not enough experience, don’t know where to start in picking one up, and am generally intimidated by them in a purely casual/social setting). In addition to this SR is not the most forward of people either in a social setting. So us being out at a club and bar and her hooking up with some woman is not likely at all unless the woman makes the move. Furthermore, in the “lifestyle” arena single bi women seem to be the Holy Grail. They have the most power since they seem to be in least supply. I’d rate the hierarchy this way:

Single Bi Woman
M/F Couple (bi female , straight male)
M/F Couple (both open to bi)
Single Men (being bi probably helps more)

Given this our experiences have generally been limited to couples and single bi guys, with single guys being the easiest to find. If we’re looking to have a “fun” weekend and I put an ad up on craigslist 97% of the responses (whether I say no single men or not) will be from single guys. Couples will be the other 3% and in most cases the guy will be straight. Now I’m not complaining… not at all. We’ve had enough great experiences for me to be satisfied. However, I know that SR would like to have more experiences with women. And I would like her too as well. But the challenge is that she needs to be more pro-active in searching or putting us out there, and single women can be selective and don’t need to use craigslist.

The biggest challenge with finding a single bi female is that they can be very picky. We’re an un-attractive couple, but I can be fairly certain that given my less than forward nature with woman I’m not much of a selling point. Also, there is the worry that this is some guy fantasy thing; that the only reason we’re looking to do this is so I can see SR with another woman. While not inaccurate (truth is I enjoy seeing her with any other person regardless of sex) it’s hard to make that the case that this really is about her.

One way that I’ve looked at trying to attract a single woman is using our bi guy friend JMac. He’s a very cool and down to earth single bi guy. He definitely falls on the straight side of bi, but is not at all shy when it comes to man-on-man stuff. Also, he’s very smooth in a non-threatening way. We’ve tried to arrange things so that the three of us go out to a bar one night and see what happens. It’s just never worked out. Hell, we haven’t even seen him alone in over a year. He got a new job a year ago and he has a work schedule that has him up early and working every other Saturday so it’s difficult. We almost connected on Saturday night, but SR and I had left a bar we were hanging out at and we’re home before he texted us (It was 12:30, which in not late for nyc, but would have been later than we wanted to make something happen). So he and I have been talking and trying to figure something out. He has never seen two women together in person so obviously he’s very excited about making it happen, but he also thinks it would just be very cool to have even numbers. And he’s not wrong. I have to admit that most of our most exciting and fun times have been when there is an equal mix of men and women. So I put up a craigslist ad today and seeing if maybe just maybe there is a single bi woman out there itrigued about the idea of a casual meeting with a bi couple and a bi guy. Don’t have much hope for it since when I’ve done something like this in the past, whenever I’ve gotten a response the woman has not responded to emails. Making they are faking or maybe they just get a better offer.

I know that in order to make this happen either SR or I need to become more forward and comfortable with things in a social setting like a bar or club. Having a wingman for a couple is probably not the best way to go about it. But it could work so I’ll try it.

I wondered if anyone had any thoughts?

; ; ; ;


September 18, 2006 - Posted by | Uncategorized

1 Comment »

  1. Move to Boston.

    Comment by e.e. | September 19, 2006 | Reply

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