Defending the Raven

Bisexual. Married. Man. Open. Read On.

The Storm Has Passed…

…but there will be lots of clean-up.

Today was a markedly better day. I was probably overreacting considerably at least in the extremes. Are things fine and good? NO. But do I seriously need to refocus my priorities? Yeah.

This whole thing has brought up a lot of questions for me. I do enjoy where I work and the work I do, but ultimately do I think this is the career for me? I don’t know. I’m good at it, but I’m not passionate about it. I’m passionate about the place and what it does, but the work I do I don’t know; is it me? I don’t have an extreme drive that motivates me along. And maybe that’s naive of me to think it’s how it should be, but I can’t help but think it. Regardless I need to get my shit together and really step things up. If that means I have to back away from some things that’s what I have to do. I know the important people and things will still be there when I get through this.

The bigger issue beyond work is the residual effect with SR. Part of me thinks that maybe I shouldn’t have said anything, but I was in a total panic and I was expecting the worst and I couldn’t not tell her before something terrible happened. Though I guess it was a good thing that it happened in a way because it brings up an important question for me/for us: Why am I so afraid to share things with her sometimes, especially important things?

I don’t have an answer, but I’m working on it.


July 18, 2006 - Posted by | Uncategorized


  1. Glad to hear things went a bit better today. Things always look better in the morning after sunrise than they do at 3:00am (unless you’re talking about a pickup in a gay bar…then, eh, not so much.) ;P


    Comment by Polt | July 19, 2006 | Reply

  2. Mark-
    Hang in there! Or yell for help.

    Comment by Paul | July 19, 2006 | Reply

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