Defending the Raven

Bisexual. Married. Man. Open. Read On.

Fantastic New Blog

Thanks to the delightful little sitemeter tool I found a new blog, Life Ajar, by a bi (my label not necessarily his) married guy. His writing is fantastic and his insights are fantastic. He is also a minister so the issues of faith and sexuality are a theme that is truly great to read. Here are some other great things he has to say that hit me dead on:

  • “..I sporadically discontented because my wife doesn’t have what a man has and doesn’t do what a man can do (I actually hate that discontentment because I want to be sexually fullfilled by my wife and her only).” [read the full post]

This pretty much blew my mind because it’s such a simple statement, but 1000% (not a typo) true for me.

  • “The misconception is that to be a Christian or to be a minister, one has to be perfect. I hate that. I’m far from that!!! I have my struggles and they happen to be damn complex. It’s not easy. Do I feel like a hypocrite? No, not at all. I’m not pretending to be more holy than I am, more perfect than I am, or anything of the sorts. I am just a dude, wrestling with life, faith, sexuality, etc.” [read the full post]

  • On getting fingered by his wife “You would think that I would be thinking about being with a man, well receiving. I do not. Actually, I have never thought of being with a man during this experience. I like being in the moment with her. I like that I feel vulnerable. I like that this act is something considered to be embarassing, but yet I find enjoyment from it. When she is in me, it increases my emotional connection with her because I feel an acceptance of me sexually. I’m with her that moment and she is with me (I hope). I’m giving all of me to her in that act.” [read the full post]
  • “. . .I do not want to be a person who does things, especially sexual things, merely our of ‘carnal’ craving. I’ve had sex-sex – the type of sex which lacks an emotional, intellectual, spiritual, etc. connection. The type of sex that is purely physical and sexual, and nothing more. Is that rare for a woman to experience, but common for a man? I have had tons of this type of sex in my young life. Yes, I do admit though that I do desire (for whatever reason) this type of disconnected sex (no strings attached). But in the pit of my being, I notice, ‘Man, I’m missing out on something here.'” [read full post]

I really can’t wait to hear more from him. The things he says resonate so strongly with me in a lot of ways. Even while I’ve been reading he added two posts. I think this is gonna be a hard blog for me to keep up with.


March 27, 2006 - Posted by | Uncategorized


  1. Thanks Mark for all the comments. I’ve read your entire blog as well. Just too lazy to leave as many comments as you did for me. I appreciate it.


    Comment by Anonymous | March 28, 2006 | Reply

  2. No problem. Thanks for leaving this one though. No pressure for leaving comments.

    Comment by Raven in NYC (aka Mark) | March 28, 2006 | Reply

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