Defending the Raven

Bisexual. Married. Man. Open. Read On.

Talk is Cheap, Pt. 2

Warning: I am a notorious tease sometimes. Hope you all haven’t been waiting too long for the follow-up to last night’s posting.

“I like you to be rough with me; and I am sure you have noticed my encouragement of that. I like to be dominated, I used to love to be bound or tied at the wrist or to something. I love feeling helpless… And being told to just deal. I do have a line–I definitely don’t like pain, and I like it primarily when you are doing things that are ‘normally’ part of our routine.”

That’s what my wife said she wanted when it comes to exploring our boundaries. And she’s right I had seen the signs of her encouragement, but it’s hard for me to take things further. I know that I have very few limitations in what I would do sexually. There are extremes like severe pain (a little is fun for me) and bodily fluids being involved that are not the norm for sex that I wouldn’t be interested in, but beyond that I’d seriously try anything once. I figure better to have tried and say that’s not for me then to never know. So knowing I am willing to go far I worry of taking things too far with her. Well, that time is over as far as I’m concerned.

So, my wife likes it a little rough and to be dominated. I can handle that. It’s not my normal personalitiy, but sexually it’s not something I’m inexperienced with (my sordid cheating past comes into play here).

I decided that since we were going out to a nice dinner to not-celebrate what yesterday was I figured I’d push the boundaries a little later on in the evening.

Well, I’m not gonna go to much into detail. Mostly because it isn’t a mind blowing story because it was the first time figuring things. Also, I have no problem going into detail when it’s sex involved with other people, but when it’s just me and my wife I really think that’s something different. I’m gonna be selfish andbe more guarded about sharing that information. But here are some topline things about the evening:

~ I think my wife knew what I was up to and didn’t want to give in because we had just talked about it. Maybe it was too forced? Then again it could be just my wife playing with me. She said in her e-mail that being dominated or held down probably wasn’t something I was into, but I made it clear to her that is not the case. I hate sleeping bags or having her snuggle me too tightly, but tied me up during sex and make me submit — that’s fine.

~ Being rough and dominating takes a lot out of you when you’re the one in charge. Let’s just say that I wore myself out much sooner than normal and while that was disappointing it left us realizing there was A LOT more to explore. We’re gonna have to find the right positions and ways that work best for us.

~ Sometimes when you can’t finish the job together you need to finish the job alone — together. Too vauge? Masturbation is a lot more fun and interesting when you have an audience.

We’re both kinda giddy this morning… well I am at least. I’m not usually so worked up the morning after having had sex the night before. I’m usually still in that post-coital fog. But this morning I was ready to just stay home and keep exploring. I love the idea of tying my wife up. I’ve actually had a scarf in the drawer where we keep our sexual paraphernalia for a while and have thought about using it on her. I can kick myself for not taking the initative when I’ve had the perverted thought.

So here’s a question for the group: Have any of you been dominated before? Dominated someone else? What did you/they like? My mind is already in overdrive with ideas, but would love to hear from others on things that have worked for them.


August 31, 2005 - Posted by | Uncategorized


  1. Oh My Gaaaaaaawd do I have ideas!!!

    Comment by E-E | August 31, 2005 | Reply

  2. Well, don’t be bashful. You know how to find me… or feel free to share with the group.

    Comment by Raven in NYC (aka Mark) | August 31, 2005 | Reply

  3. I’ve been on both sides of the bondage scenario, but I’ve never really been dominated to the point of being “forced” to do something. My last GF wanted me to dominate her, but I was a little wary of it, as that is not my nature. I tried to be more assertive and I think I did a pretty good job of that. I do enjoy the bondage, though (light bondage, that is). I have some fuzzy handcuffs in my closet for just the right occasion. The ties from silk robes are also a great choice. Add in a blindfold and some creative accessories (feathers, ice cubes, etc), and I’m in heaven, whether I’m the bonder or the bondee.

    Comment by Eric | August 31, 2005 | Reply

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