Defending the Raven

Bisexual. Married. Man. Open. Read On.

Mr. Shit Meet Mr. Fan — 1 Year Later

Today is the one year anniversary of the day my wife found out I am bi and that I had cheated on her.

I planned to have dinner at one of New York City’s best restaurants 3 weeks ago (I choose the palce because we have a gift certificate we need to use and have been postponing it for the “right time”). I wasn’t sure if it was the right thing to do. I didn’t want to celebrate the day, but I also didn’t want to ignore it (the day share’s the same day as one of our best friend’s birthday so it’s not like we would forget it). I was hoping to do something special that was just about the two of us as a way to acknowledge the day, but also celebrate where we’ve come since then. We both acknowledge that while we wish it didn’t have to happen in a way we realize it did.

I was very worried that my wife wouldn’t like that I made the reservations, but when I told her yesterday she was touched and very happy. “It is ssoooooo nice that you thought to do this! … it really is. You know that I would have had a hard time with the day when it was here… And you thought ahead, which I appreciate.”

I don’t plan on sharing much more about the day and our dinner here because to be frankly honest this goes to the core, the guts of our relationship. It’s the part that is the hardest to articulate others and the hardest for others to understand.

In other related news, ironically, there have also been a lot of interesting conversations between us in the last couple days that show that while we have come very far together there are still things we don’t know about each other…. but that’s a post for another day.

Did you take the Visitor Poll yet? C’mon do me — I mean it — now! Please!


August 30, 2005 - Posted by | Uncategorized


  1. hey Raven,

    Hope ya don’t mind, but I borrowed your disclaimer about “objectionable material, blah blah blah…” k?

    Also, congrats on getting thru some difficult times!

    Comment by E-E | August 30, 2005 | Reply

  2. Not a problem I stole it from someone else, who stole it from someone else. All’s sharing in blog world.

    Thanks. I was worried today would be a rough day, but it’s actually really good and positive. Guess that says a lot about where we are.


    Comment by Raven in NYC (aka Mark) | August 30, 2005 | Reply

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