Defending the Raven

Bisexual. Married. Man. Open. Read On.

The First Cock Not My Own

The first person I ever had sex with was my wife. That was in June of 1997. It was exhilarating and completely fantastic. The next person I had sex with was a man. That was April 2004. It was exhilarating and, in hindsight, probably the worst I have ever been sexually.

I met the guy on a New York City based Yahoo! group (tangent: damn, that’s good branding when I add the ! without even thinking). He actually lived very close to me so it was relatively easy to arrange on an evening my wife wouldn’t be around. To this day I’m still not entirely sure what made me take the step to go and meet with him. Curiousity got the better of me? The fact of the matter is that I wish I hadn’t, but I did.

The guy was a Broadway dancer (yeah, how the hell does that actually happen I don’t know). He was very attractive, tall, and with a perfect body. Plus he said he was bi as well. When I got to his aptment he had just gotten out of the shower and answered the door in only a towel (yeah, lucky me). He put on some track pants and a t-shirt. He knew it was my first time (hence, the appeal of me I suppose). He put on some gay porn and we started out by just sitting there and watching porn. I had no idea what to do. Make a move? Let him make a move? I was like a teenager again going through all these new feelings — and then some.

He made the first move and started rubbing his hand on my thigh, which quickly led to my cock (I had prepared as much and worn track pants as well). I figured I’d follow his lead. This lead to some fun mutual jerking off, which I’ll admit was probably the most exciting part all around.

I think the biggest problem was that I had no idea what I wanted to do. I knew I had the attraction and urge. I knew what was supposed to happen, but like any virgin I wasn’t sure what to do or how to make it happen.

Things did progress a little further. I did attempt some cock sucking, but got all freaked out because he was pretty large (definitely not a beginner cock. I even might have trouble taking him if I met him today — well, that’s not really true, but said it to make the point) and wasn’t sure I was gonna be good. He ended up sucking me off and then jerking off on me. That was the only time we met, and while I walked away feeling very high — the down from guilt came after I went home and was in the shower — looking back on things it was a fairly disappointing experience.

The short of it is that it was not the experience I was expecting, but it was more like the fumblings of a first time experience. I doubt that if it had been some amazing experience it would have satisfied my urges. In fact, it might have accelerated things. It took me a full month to try anything again, but things went much further that time around.

Why bring this up now. Well, come back tomorrow and it’ll probably connect up for you.

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August 29, 2005 - Posted by | Uncategorized

2 Comments »

  1. This comment has nothing to do with this post, but has to be said somewhere. I know you’re a publicity whore, but why do you have a link on here to your own site under Other Great Distractions? Isn’t that a little much, Narcissus?

    Comment by Perfekt Dad | August 30, 2005 | Reply

  2. Always my conscience aren’t you PD? Actually I didn’t even realize it was there. So does that make it a Freudian Narcissistic slip?

    Comment by Raven in NYC (aka Mark) | August 30, 2005 | Reply


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