Defending the Raven

Bisexual. Married. Man. Open. Read On.

I’m the Man

[Disclaimer: My wife hates this story. She hates when I tell it. She hates being reminded of it. However, while she knows about my blog, I’m pretty sure she doesn’t read it because I told her I wasn’t ready for her to because I don’t want to self-edit on things I know she might take me to task on for sharing or saying.]

As those of you who have been keeping up I’m not really the guy’s guy type of guy. I want to be, but my opporuntiy to get a frat brothers group of guys to hang with ended when I got assigned to the non-college dorm my freshman year in college.

Despite this I do have one moment in my life where I can feel like I truly was “the man.”

I stole my wife from another man.

Not only did I steal her from him, but he had even bought her an engagement ring.
So truly, who is the man?!?!

Ok, ok. Momentary testosterone overload.

Here’s the story. My wife and went to the same school for college. She was two years ahead of me. We met doing theatre (yeah, the bi/gay signs were always there). First time I met her my interest was peaked, but then I found out she was already dating a guy and had been for over 2 years (and he was 5 years older). So I did what I usually do with women — I became her best friend. We got to know each other really well over two years, and really bonded. It was convenient since we spent so much time in the theatre together. During the spring semester of her senior year we stage managed a show together, which meant we spent nearly every night togther for about two and a half months, which was already on top of the time we spent together during the day eating meals and just generally hanging out.

During this time everyone in the show thought we were dating. Her boyfriend thought we were messing around (He tried to beat me up in a bar one night. He didn’t succeed. I did respond in a very adult like way after he left and proceeded to have the worst drinking binge of my college career, which ended with me dry heaving for 45 minutes, passed out on the bathroom floor and woken by my roommate whacking the door into my head). But despite all the signs and encouragement from out theatre friends, I never made a play for her because she was dating the other guy (did I mention he was a possessive asshole and I never liked him — no one did). That’s not to say I wasn’t totally into her. I just figured if the feeling was mutual she had to make the first move. Yeah, I’m lame I know, but not really keep reading.

Flash forward to our theatre group’s annual year-end party/sorry excuse to get trashed as a group in formalwear. It’s late. We walked a really drunk friend to campus. We’re walking back to the party. She’s graduating and leaving school for good in two weeks (she’s gonna be living 15 minutes away, but still). I say what the fuck and somehow blurt out “I really like you.” She says, “I really like you too.” So that was all it took. Both of us wanted to get together, but was waiting for the otehr to say something.

What happended next was spending the next 2 weeks of finals and graduation week spending every hour together. Lots of making out and not studying. This was followed by another month of her still dating the other guy, but me spending LOTS of time with her. She was conflicted. She was supposed to marry this guy, but then I came along. She put off having sex together for a while, but not very long (I think to this day she wished that she had waited to do it with me until she had broken up with him). It took a family vacation to Florida and talking to her mom (who I had met at her graduation party). Her mom said, “We never liked the [other guy]. And we love [me].”

In a way I’m really proud of that story and how I got my wife. I wish she could feel better about it, but it all turned out for the best.

****************** BTW ******************

We are hopefully (hopefully because my wife went home from work early with a nasty headache.) meeting our cool bi couple friends for drinks and dinner tonight. Also, rather than having to write cool bi couple friends I am gonna now be calling them J&R.

The interesting part is that we’re meeting another couple friend of their’s who are in town from CA. This is the first time we’re meeting friends of friends like this. Should be interesting. Not sure what the relationship they have with these people is, but the e-mail announced vibe is “sexy.” Should be interesting. Hoping to have something to report another day.


August 19, 2005 - Posted by | Uncategorized

1 Comment »

  1. That’s a great story.

    My wife was my best freind’s girl

    Comment by Evan | August 20, 2005 | Reply

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