Defending the Raven

Bisexual. Married. Man. Open. Read On.

100 Things .. Kinda

It seems that posting a list of 100 Things about you is a necessary right of passage for amateur bloggers. Well, I spent 3 days putting together the lsit of 30 things I love about my wife so I fear I would work on the list and never be satisfied with the right 100…. SO INSTEAD I decided to crib someone else’s because 1) there are similar things enough for me to include or react to and 2) we have a similar sarcastic approach to writing these things. My comments are in bold, if necessary:

1. I live in XXXXXXX. (I live in New York City, which according to google maps is 2,879 mi — about 2 days 0 hours from XXXXX)
2. I didn’t grow up here, my family moved an average of once a year for as far back as I can remember until I turned eighteen. (Didn’t grow up here, but my family has been located in the same town in CTfor three generations)
3. I get distracted and frustrated really easily. (distracted – YES!; frustrated – it trully depends on what)
4. I swear like a mother fucking sailor. (I prefer to say mother fucking trucker, but still applies)
5. Personally, I love swearing, and feel that it’s a form of creativity. (I do love swearing, but really see it as the purest most, direct form of communication we have.)
6. My wife thinks that’s bollocks. (mine too, but she never swears)
7. I think I’m a little nuts.
8. I’m a self proclaimed movie/music/comic snob. (I’m a self proclaimed movie/theatre/book snob).
9. I’ve always been mature for my age. (yes, but I’d look younger than my age if I shaved off the facial hair)
10. I think it’s because I did more to raise myself than any of my parents combined. (never thought about it that way. more that I rejected most of the ways my parents tried to raise me)
11. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes I have the humor of a 7 year old boy. (indeed.)
12. I’m mostly Norwegian and Portuguese; the rest is mutt. (all mutt, but my wife is Portugese)
13. And 10% diet soda with Splenda. (diet soda and Splenda — better living through chemistry!!)
14. I have silky soft hair that refuses to be damaged no matter how often I bleach it and dye it green. (I have super thick had that refuses to do anythign but still atop my head, but two things 1. I’ll probably never be really bald and 2. people love running their hands through it)
15. I am totally and completely afraid of being alone in the dark (and I’m not afraid to admit it). (I can do it, but I need ambient noises like music)
16. I think I was left on the doorstep by wandering minstrels. (I’m adopted, but suppose it could be true)
17. Or was switched at birth. (I’m adopted
18. Either way, I don’t think that I’m much like my family. (I’m adopted, but there are some ways I’m like my family, but my sister is adopted too and she’s exactly like my parents… I’m soooooooooo not)
19. Except that I’m warped. (well, their warped… i’m colorful)
20. “I learned it from watching you all right? I learned it from watching you!” (that I’m not so sure of)
21. I believe in spirituality within yourself. (that’s how I approach being Catholic. I can agree with the aspects of faith as mine, but manifested spiritually from myself)
22. I will not argue with people about politics or religion. (I try not to)
23. Unless I’m feeling particularly ornery or masochistic. (or I want to fuck with someone)
24. If there really is a hell, I believe that my hell will be filled with stupid people and self-proclaimed good Christians.
25. I generally prefer to go commando. (boxer briefs for me, but I can appreciate the commanso and usually do it when bumming around at home)
26. I like to sing in the car. (,but I get embarassed if people see me singing in the car)
27. I find that it soothes me whenever other drivers are pissing me off.
28. I love all kinds of music (except country) (I love all kinds of music – no qualifications, which means I love all kinds of music and you don’t Evan)
29. I’ve only been off the West Coast once. (I have never been to the West Coast and rarely far from the east cost)
30. I’m extremely sarcastic (uh — yeah! me too!)
31. Deep down, I’m a sappy romantic (*sigh* me too)
32. I’m not an attention whore. But I love to be doted on. (oh me too and I don’t get enough of it)
33. I’m so not a morning person. (I am THE morning people of all morning people except when 1. I’m hungover 2. the person I had sex with last night is still in bed with me and 3. I have nothing to do that day and no reason to get up)
34. I work crossword puzzles in ink. (crossword puzzles make me feel stupid, not because I can’t do them, but because I don’t know all the secret clues/words that get put in them regularly. plus my parents use dictionaries and crossword puzzle dictionaries to do their puzzles and I think that’s cheating)
35. I am fiercely loyal. Sometimes, stupidly so. (,and you’d think I’d have learned by now considering how many times I’ve been burned)
36. I once organized a walk-out at a job I held a nice managerial paycheck in to fight for my principles on another’s wrongful firing. (I once organized a walk out in high school to protest the proposed wrongful closing of my school by the local catholic archdiocese. p.s. it closed 3 years after I graduated)
37. I was the only one to walk-out. (the whole school walked out)
38. I would do it again. (in a heartbeat)
39. I am way too hard on myself. (yes, and admitting that makes me too hard on myself)
40. I am an indoor kind of guy. (but I want to be an outdoorsy kind of guy too)
41. When I was five I was knocked down while crossing a busy road on my way to school. I suffered a broken leg and skull. (I’ve never broken a bone)
42. Because of this, my left leg is a centimeter shorter than my right. (Mine is shorter because I got Osgood-Slaughter disease in my left knee, which is basically a growing thing. My knee and calf bones grew at different rates and so there is a big knot of cartilage connecting them)
43. I can handle my drink and know when to stop (usually). (yess, usually)
44. Fear of becoming an alcoholic doesn’t keep me sober. (I have no fear because of 43)
45. I look best in blue and earth tones. (especially when together)
46. I don’t always wash my hands after peeing. (shameful, but true. though usually mostly at home)
47. I know how clean my cock is. I have no idea how dirty the faucet handles are. (I choose nt to know how dirty facuet handles are)
48. I was born June 18th, 1974 to Karen Smithson and David Peterson. (I was born April 9, 1977 to unknown people.)
49. Why did I wait this long on the list to touch on my birth? Because I felt like it. (Did you not read the introductory paragraph?)
50. I have fantastic blue eyes and brown hair, which I tend to color green. (I have fantastic blue eyes and dirty blond hair which is dyed reddish-blond right now)
51. I wear corrective lenses; I’m too averse to sticking my finger in my eye to wear contacts. (Last time I was checked I had 15/20 vision. Didn’t know you could be better than perfect)
52. I love winter for the cold and summer for the beaches. (I love winter for the snow and summer for the skimpy dressed people)
53. I couldn’t grow a beard if I tried. (I tried, but it was itchy)
54. Shitty jobs I’ve had: Telemarketer, fast food manager, pizza delivery driver, librarian, tutor, college English instructor. (haven’t really had a really shitty job)
55. The librarian job wasn’t all that bad until I started getting promoted and learned how much of a leech on society my employer was. (My first job out of college wasn’t so bad until I got promoted and realized my boss was a raving lunatic)
56. The best job I’ve earned money for was working in a record store. (best job I’ve earned money for was working for my father, but I didn’t have to actually do anything. It was a tax shelter for his business and paid for my college education. totally legal)
57. It was also my first paying job. (I did actually work for my dad and it was my first paying job)
58. A job you have to make a resume to get is probably a job I do not want. (It’s the only kind I’d apply for)
59. For the past two years I have been a foster parent. (Ok, can’t match this one so here’s a totally original one. I bite my nails. It’s my one bad habit)
60. It has been both a very trying and wonderful experience. (I want to stop biting my nails because it looks gross)
61. I want to learn guitar. (or piano)
62. I want to be in a band. (But I can’t be the lead singer)
63. I want to be a well known writer. (I want to have written a book)
64. I want to be remembered when I reach the clearing at the end of the path. (but only on my terms)
65. I have two beautiful children: Lash and Aeia, and a third one is arriving in June 2005. (I have a wonderful dog who is child light, btu don’t love him any less. I can’t wait to have children)
66. They are my heroes.
67. I resent people who claim to have “no regrets.” (I don’t resent them because they are lying to themselves.)
68. Foreign languages I’ve studied: German, Japanese, Portuguese. (Polish, Spanish — and I suck at both)
69. Five places I most want to spend some time in: Toronto, New York City, Amsterdam, Italy, Australia. (Australia, Italy, Spain, California, Ireland)
70. I want to get rich so I can buy my grandma a fancy sportscar. (I wish I had someone to buy something like that for)
71. In college I majored in (in order) drama, psychology, physical education, education (worked towards receiving my teaching credential) and finally English, for which I received a BA. (I was a political science major from day 1, but I wish I had minored in Business)
72. Undergraduate school was a ten year plan for me. (four years for me)
73. I am two classes away from completing my Masters Degree in English and am not likely to do so. (I haven’t started a Masters Degree and am not likely to do so)
74. I have approximately thirty thousand dollars in student loans. (I am student loan free)
75. Let’s go get a burger. (with a good draft beer)
76. Kiss me on the neck. (oh please do)
77. I lost my virginity at 13. (I lost my virginity at 21)
78. The most attractive part of a woman’s body, to me, is her navel; the most attractive part of a man’s is his abdomen. (The most attractive part of a woman’s body, to me, are her legs; the most attractive part of a man’s is his chest.)
79. I have read every Stephen King book written (except the Dark Tower series. Refused to read it until it was done and now it’s just too daunting of a task)
80. I like to be naked as much as possible, which is almost never now. (except when I sleep)
81. Nightime is my favorite part of the day (especially the late hours of the evening/early morning when everyone else is asleep)
82. I love going for walks at night with friends and lovers. (especially lovers)
83. My favorite color is teal. (My favorite color is navy)
84. I have 0 tattoos. (Me too, but I want on on my calf)
85. I always posture about how I plan to get one, but always seem to spend my extra money on other things. (I have a plan, but never the actual motivation to do it)
86. I have beat someone up. (but I don’t think it counted completely)
87. I was 7 and the other kid was picking on my sister. (I was 12 and the kid was picking on me because I was fat)
88. She ran home and told my then stepdad, who carried me home because he was so proud of how good I was at being violent. (He ran away and told a teacher)
89. I haven’t beaten anyone up since. (I haven’t beaten anyone up since)
90. I’ve studied Aikido. (I don’t know what Aikido is)
91. I am a shameless flirt (When I’m comfortable with people, but wish I was a better flirt because I love it)
92. Especially when I drink. (Especially when I’m out drinking with just my wife)
93. I am a constant fidgetter. (I never fidget and get annoyed with people who do)
94. When I was 5, my father beat me for thinking I was Mexican because I liked tacos. (My dad only really beat me once, but I think I deserved it)
95. Sometimes I think I could benefit from therapy. (I suppose so, but when my parents brought me to a therapist twice and it was useless. The last time the therapist asked why I was there and I said because my mom said I needed to go and he told her I didn’t need to that I was a normal teenager who was just adjusting to life and growing up.)
96. I do not believe in, nor do I practice, monogamy. (I believe in having someone who you are primarily with. I’m mostly monogamist)
97. I have a great fondness for the horror genre, particularly for the zombie subgenre. (I like horror books, but I’m like a little girl when watching horror movies)
98. I am an unabashed nerd at times, though I hide it well most of the time (not here). (I have geeky tendacies)
99. When writing a list this long, the hardest thing to think of is what should end it. (this is why I didn’t write it myself)
100. Tomorrow I’ll think of at least ten things to add here, and maybe I will. (If I wrote myelf I probably would too)
101. To hell with the confines of 100 things on a 100 Things list. (Exactly what I would have done because I don’t like to be limited by things)


August 6, 2005 - Posted by | Memes


  1. It’s amazing how many of these could apply to me too. Are all bi guys sarcastic romantic overdrinkers?

    Comment by Perfekt Dad | August 14, 2005 | Reply

  2. PerfektDad: Um, YES!!!!

    Comment by Raven in NYC (aka Mark) | August 15, 2005 | Reply

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