Defending the Raven

Bisexual. Married. Man. Open. Read On.

Bi is the Road to Gay??!!

So there is an interesting new study out that the New York Times reported on today that delves into the issue of whether bisexualtiy, sepcifically in men, exists or not. Read the article, it’s very interesting. What’s most interesting is that the study used a physiological response rather then self-reported information from participants as past studies had been:
Researcher :”So, Jim, do guys get your cock hard?”
Jim: “FUCK NO!” (to self: how did he know?)
So they hooked up a bunch of guys to machines and showed them “erotic scenes” featuring only women and some featuring only men. The guys who self-reported as bi were more aroused by the men scenes then the woman, and their results were more related to the gay men in the study.

Now I think the study is fine, and I’m not gonna dismiss it out of hand because I don’t think it’s necessarily wrong and could actually be the first step in really understanding bi men. The unfortunate thing is that most will just say “See, most bi men are really just hiding the fact that they are gay.” OK, but what about bi women? One sex at a time … anyway.

Without question I could say that if I was a part of this survey I suspect I would be like most of the other bi men in the study. I’m sure a researcher would tell me that I was more aroused by the male erotic scenes.

The key difference for me, and I would suspect for most bi men, is that they view men more purely as sex objects then they do women. For bi guys, men are to fuck around with. There is a much more transactional level to things and any personal connection really remains on the friends/buddies level. So of course, if you hook up a monitor to a bi guy’s cock the men are gonna get him harder because he’s thinking far more sexual things about the guys then the women.

And that’s where a purely physiological test fails in the same way self-reported data does. The majority of of bi guys I know are comfortable messing around with guys, and heck, they all enjoy it. BUT when it comes to having a personal relationship they really focus on women for that. Maybe some of it has to do with society’s lack of acceptance of men in committed relationships. Maybe it has to do with natural instincts to procreate.

That is not to say that bi men don’t have close connections and relationships with men. I see it as totally possible and is exactly what gay men seek in each other. It’s just that in my experience there is a line between sexual desire (lust?) and preference in a long-term life changing relationship that bi men have.

In fact the one bi man quoted in the article sums it up pretty nicely:
Mr. Campbell rated his erotic attraction to men and women as about 50-50, but his emotional attraction, he said, was 90 to 10 in favor of women. “With men I can get aroused, I just don’t feel the fireworks like I do with women,” he said.

What it comes down to is that I’m not entirely surprised by this study or think it’s false. I think the danger is that it will be misinterpreted and only make things more difficult for bi men.

The most interesting thing about this is that my wife sent me the link to the article. I told her my thoughts. She didn’t have much of a response. Hmmmmmm… wondering what she’s thinking? “More news at 11”??!!!


July 5, 2005 - Posted by | Uncategorized


  1. Exactly, what about bisexual women??? I vehemently deny that I’m on any road to homosexuality (cause I love the opposite sex too much). Same goes for you?

    As a bisexual female, I tend to target specific individuals, rather than specific gender. Only a handful of women (and men) has ever turned me on enough for me to want to have sex with them. So I like to think it’s the person I’m attracted to rather than the gender… What about u?

    Comment by Secret Scent | July 6, 2005 | Reply

  2. My point about bisexual women was that the same stigma attached to bisexual men, that they are hiding form being gay, is not attached to bisexual women.

    I didn’t want to get lost on a tangent of a topic that I have a lot to say about. In general, I agree that I’m more attracted to the person rather than their sex, but I would be lying if it didn’t play a big role. It’s funny because my personal preference in men and women is very, very different.

    Comment by Raven in NYC (aka Mark) | July 6, 2005 | Reply

  3. Thanks for the visiting my site, and great post on the subject. As a gay man, I don’t really care if bi-sexuals exist or not. *I* do believe that a lot of “bi-sexuals” just label themselves that so that they are not queer. However, I would never discredit everyone for that same reason. You living in NYC would have a lot easier time being either gay or bisexual than say a guy living in Bum-F*ck, Arkansas. However, living in Arkansas, I got lucky and have yet (knock on wood) experienced any backlash from being gay.

    Comment by David | July 6, 2005 | Reply

  4. no question, david, and that’s where most of the problems are. that could be partially true, but admitting your bi opens the floodgates some. You admit that being with someone of the same sex is ok with you. I’ve had a few gay men yell at me to just wake up and admit I’m gay… so the “queer” label can already be there.

    BUT I totally agree with you that anyone who is trying to shield themselves by claiming to be one thing they are not is only doing themselves, and others who are truly like that, a disservice.

    And so much of this comes down to the dangers of generalizing. That’s the biggest point I’d try to make in all of this.

    Though I’ve always said it’d be much easier to be one or the other. Being in the middle is more difficult.

    Comment by Raven in NYC (aka Mark) | July 6, 2005 | Reply

  5. And I agree with you completely. I think life would be much easier if everybody was honest. And I find the gay guys who make fun of Bis (other than in humor like I do) to be on the same level as the straights that tell us we just haven’t found the right woman yet.

    Comment by David | July 6, 2005 | Reply

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