Defending the Raven

Bisexual. Married. Man. Open. Read On.

We’re Just Not That Into You

I’ve only briefly introduced the fact that my wife and I do, on occassion, have sex with other people — or euphemistically we “explore with others.” However, the one rule we tend to use as the ultimate guide is that we like to get to know people a little up-front. Some of that happens through exchanging e-mails or talking on the phone. However, most often it means meeting for drinks before things go any further. We’d like to at least know you have a personality. Sometimes there have been meetings where we know things are gonna remain casual, but we usually end up meeting at a later date to take things further. Other times, when all the options are open, we usually end up naked at the end of the evening. But more about those experiences at a later time… I PROMISE!

Tonight we had dinner with a couple who were just starting to explore the whole new world of “swinging” that exists out there (see this post for a little more on that). They were in their mid-30’s (a little old for us) with two kids (usually a turn off), but we kinda figured, “what the heck it was only dinner so why not help open these people up a little.” Well, we had dinner, and it was perfectly nice, but to be frankly honest I can’t imagine getting naked with these people. I’ve never had the experience, but something tells me it would be a mercy fuck. I’d feel bad enough about helping them dip their toes in the swingers pool to maybe give them the whole experience. However, I’m a guy, I can be more slutty… the wife isn’t. She’s more likely to be turned off by people who don’t pass the “could I get naked with them” test.

So now we’re in that awkward place of having said good night and agreeing “Yes,we should do this again sometime.” The problem is now that we’ve have the regular night out, we’re gonna exchange some e-mails about taking it to the next level. It’s one thing to have a bad date with one person who you can just ignore, but this is a whole different thing.

First, there are two people involved. Second, they are putting themselves out there to try something new and different. I’d feel guilty about rejecting them and discouraging it. There are plenty of people out there that are their age and that they have more in common with that they’d really click with. Now I’m gonna have to play the game of “we’re just so busy” and “my new job is really kicking my ass” or “things are just so crazy for us we’ve kinda decided to take a step back from this.”

The worst part is I kinda knew this from the start. I should have just ignored their e-mails two weeks ago when I had the chance. I guess I’m just a sucker for virgins!



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June 28, 2005 - Posted by | Uncategorized

1 Comment »

  1. Or you could try the honest approach, as virgins they might not understand the nature of the brush off for what it is. Of course, as old as this post is, I imagine it’s been dealt with…

    Comment by Evan | July 8, 2005 | Reply


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