Yes, full disclaimer, I am married and battling this for years. I’m finding this particularly trying at the moment because not only is my time spent thinking about this stuff or unfortunately at it subject to emotional guilt, there is also now a weird financial pressure, to cut back on fun and earn more.

I’ve appreciated this blog for years, and don’t get me wrong – this is probably a shameless plug to open discussion for mutual benefit, but how do people cope with this if they don’t open up to their partner? It can’t feel like its eating you alive and yet ‘fessin’ up seems unimaginable.

“My past history” was discusssed early in the relationship and sex has been fun but tailed off in the last few years, with me always feeling kinda unsatisfied. I wonder if I’m just being tolerated, or if I talk I would just spoil a tense, but loving and supportive and tight and acceptable(!) family.

And meantime I/we keep one eye out for towel slips in the locker room and glances on the street. Am I/we total douchebag/s or what?

Thanks.